The Great Indian Marraige

This trip has been all about marriages. ‘The great Indian Marriage’ in all its colors and shades makes a mosaic of splendid memories. A fine tapestry of high drama, emotions, a little show off and a lot of fuss around the lucky couple. It is a time when I get to meet a lot of people from a forgotten land, “my village”. A constant source of irritation and amusement, they seem to be an integral part of marriages in my family. My parents make it a point to invite them and they suddenly pitch into our normal lives. We clearly belong to different worlds and parents torn between both. But how can the marriage the complete with the wise ‘Nani’ who seems like a walking encyclopedia of all dying traditions of Orissa. The marriage is a string of several rituals and she takes on the task of policing them. Which earthen pot is to be brought, how many beetle leaves to put on top of it, when to start the ‘conch’, which leg to take out first, which side the girl should sit, she seems to know every fine detail. Then of course there is my granny who steps in to ‘Veto’ when there is a bit of confusion.

A permanent figure is my uncle, ‘father’s sister’s husband!!!!!’ (Related albeit a 3^rd degree cousin). Long ago (actually just a generation ago) we used to be a family of priests and my uncle has stuck on to the family business (if I may say so). The marriage simply cannot be thought without him supervising the ‘Puja’. He has to do the QC to make sure the idiot from our town is not skipping any mantras and everything is done as per Vedic rites. I love those scenes on the ‘mandap’ where they start fighting over one extra word in the verses (mantras) getting missed or added. I have seen him jump upon the other party (the priest come both from the bride and the groom’s side) quoting God knows what (I don’t understand single word of Sanskrit).

Then there are the old ladies, who love saying, ‘see how much you have grown up’. Well this time they were extra annoying with comments like “when do I see your Bahu.”, “Next is your turn”, “Don’t just bring in your girl, we want a proper marriage here”.

A great part of the marriage is the preparation of the traditional sweets. The bride usually takes load of this stuff on her way to ‘In-laws’. There are of course the ‘Boondi Laddoos’ but then there are the ‘Feni’ and ‘Gaja’ along with salty ‘Nimkis’. I got a chance to capture a pic of the making of ‘Labangi’ .


Made from Maida and stuffed with sweet coconut fillings, it is coated with a layer of sugar syrup and bound by a piece of Clove (Clove is called Labang in oriya) which gives it its name. An absolute delight when made by an expert. These experts would sit all night, usually a day or two before the marriage and in a marathon session prepare these goodies. Although now people prefer to order from sweet shops instead of going into the hassle of getting it made at home, the overnight session has its own benefits. Usually a small group of people have to stay around to supervise the making and that gives a great a occasion to catch up with a few people whom have not seen in years.

That brings me to the best part of my trip. A distributed family means you get to meet even your immediate relatives very rarely. The days are hectic and you have to take care of hundred little things and the only time you can get together is in the night after dinner. It used to be a conclave of us kids, and still has kids but we have turned into uncles L . But it is great fun to be with all the Bhaiyas and Bhabis, (their kids who refuse to sleep even at unearthly hours sniffing out the fun in the air) and of course there are people like me, the last of the disappearing “Singles” of our generation. The sound of laughter is hardly stopped by the closed doors and the meeting (‘Khatti’ in my terms) continues till we can no longer continue. Surprising small amount of sleep seems to suffice and you are awake next morning, thanks to your parents literally shaking you out of bed to get you started on some task or other.

Every day is so much fun, I could keep writing about them.. but its time to sleep now and be ready for office tomorrow..