Law of Treats

treat [treet]

–verb (used with object) : to provide food, entertainment, gifts, etc., at one's own expense

–verb (used without object) : to give, or bear the expense of, a treat

–noun : entertainment, food, drink, etc., given by way of compliment or as an expression of friendly regard.

Any happy event in life can trigger a treat. Whether you are giving or receiving, it is an occasion to celebrate. Considering the central role it plays in social life, I was amazed not to find any rules around it.

The following are some basic (elementary) rules for dealing with Treats. These rules apply for any real or complex Treats, regardless of the events that has led to it.

Additive Identity of Treats

Treat (Reason) + Treat (Reason) = Treat (Event)

If you have multiple reasons for giving treats, you still give A TREAT. All the requests (actually demands) for Treats from friends always cumulate to ONE Treat. A TREAT always settles all the pending treats (takes care of all events that triggered the demand for a treat) till the day of the treat.

Example: Treat (for Birthday) + Treat (for Promotion) = Treat

Rule of Treat Nullification

Treat (Reason) – Negative Treat (Reason) = Zero Treat

Any negative event nullifies all pending treats. So

[Treat (for Birthday) + Treat (for Promotion)] – [No Treat (my cat died!!!)] = Zero Treat

Multiplicative Identity of Treats

Treat X Treat = Treat

The nature of a cumulative treat does not differ from the treat given for a single treat event. To explain it further:

Treat (for Birthday) = Treat (at Bombay Post)

Treat (for Birthday) + Treat (for Promotion) = Treat (at Bombay Post) and NOT Treat (at Taj)

Distributive Effect on Treats

The venue for the treat is a inverse function of the Number of people to be treated.

I have to run back to work now.. but I think this is enough to piss off my friends who are going to badger me even further for treats :)