prabashi

I have been immersed in "The Namesake" right from the morning and like every good book it has given me enough to reflect upon. Several ideas that amused me has crossed my mind and I have been trying to toss them off so that I can move on. Some are so relevant I know they would come back to me in some way or the other.

Whatever...From Ashima's story to Gogol/Nikhil's story, the author has made a skillfull shift and its now moving on lines a person of my age can relate to more easily.

About this word prabashi...Came across it yesterday. It is supposed to denote a person who has not stayed in his homeland. A friend of mine i looking for a partner who is a prabashi...I was amused...so you want a bengali who is not much of a bengali anyway.

I was glad i did not comment on the topic...I have this feeling of not pressing on something when I feel the other person anyway wont have a well reasoned out answer OR would not be comfortable in answering. But that's not all, I am surprised because I realized I also think on the same lines.

This whole thing got precipitated from this charachter from Namesake who says he is more american than a Bengali..Hates his name and the way of life his roots from India denotes. Goes on to try and free himself of it. Changes his name, stays away alone, Dates american girls, lives with one, admires her parents, their way of life (dining table discussions, vaccations, etc.) but eventually break off. And guess what now he is finally back to a bengali girl his family is trying to fit him to. And the bugger is liking it.

What is it with people like us...We seem to be stuck in some kind of black hole as we try to cross the region between two time frames. Not really believing in the old india and the rut of its customs and traditions. But not really accepting that we have not completely come out of the rut. Some of these rut goes so deep that may be our minds never really get out of them. May be still in the bottom of our hearts we know that many of these things told to us by our parents make sense. So we try to find our own shortcuts, way arounds trying to convey the meaning that we want. We dont have the courage to go all out with our own beliefs and rely on terms that I dont think would stand a proper scrutiny.

If i say I am looking for a partner who is a prabashi odiya...what exactly would I be telling. I dont want someone who is a typical odiya but dont have to guts to looks elsewhere also. OR if I have the guts to look elsewhere I am too worried about her acceptance in my circle. Who the person is and What kind of a person she is...kind of fades to the background. OR to be very blunt we probably just decide to stay in our utopia and ask for something like a drink that does not give a hangover. Is it possible to get something minus everything in it that you dont want? (And I am not talking about a sandwitch at Sub-way joint.)

Not a very comforting thought...one should be very clear. Unless of course you decide to declare like this person I know...
"I am full of contradictions"
Whether this makes life easier...Whether it is an enjoyable feeling...Whether there is any restrictions about where these grey areas can start and where things in black or white end are easily decided....These are questions I gues I need to ask when i get a chance.